Season 3, episode 3;Host:Hugh, with Libby Titus

Aired October 15, 1977.

Cold opening:"Playboy's Party Jokes"
A Playboy Femlin (Laraine Newman) keeps attempting to tell jokes, but can't remember the punchlines.

She eventually tells this joke:

“There was an old man named Dave from Nantucket..
A sailor named Rick, grew so fond of flicking his Bic. He said to his date, ‘I could guess at her weight. If your nose was a plum, I would pluck it!” 

The Femlin then says "well, that’s all the jokes I remember.. except.. “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Monologue:"Thank Heaven For Little Girls"

Playboy magazine publisher Hugh Hefner says he was surprised when he was invited to host since isn't a performer. Hefner adds "I have a couple of friends who think I’m almost as funny as Ralph Nader, so I figured, “What the hell?” The host mentions that his magazine has led to a fortune of $200 million. With this in mind, he sings "Thank Heaven For Little Girls." The song was written by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe for their 1958 musical film Gigi.

While Hefner sings, a scroll is displayed that tells us the host also "thanks Heaven" for "big girls, enormous girls, gigantic girls – just name it, and Hef will thank Heaven for it."

Commercial:"Angora Bouqet Soap"
Written by Anne Beatts.

A woman (Jane Curtin) who is "beautiful but stupid" promotes a soap that helps her stay that way:Angora Bouquet, which contains "thousands of tiny tranquilizers penetrate your skin to wash reality away."

"Planet Of Men vs. Planet Of Women"
In the year 3000 in a "distant mirror universe," Captain Macho (Hefner) leads his all-male crew (Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Garrett Morris)

 ...in an attack on Captain Estrogena (Curtin) and her crew of women (Newman, Gilda Radner)

Neither crew will ever be the same after the spaceships collide.

Libby Titus:"Fool That I Am"
Libby Titus sings "Fool That I Am," which was the leadoff track on her 1977 self-titled album.

"Anyone Can Host Contest"
Garrett Morris reminds viewers about Saturday Night's Anyone Can Host contest. Viewers can mail postcards to NBC to enter the contest, the winner will host the December 17 Christmas episode.

TV show:"X-Police"
When a couple (Belushi and Curtin) decides to smoke a joint before bedtime, they are interrupted by two men who call themselves the X-Police. They were "kicked off the force a couple of months ago," presumably for excessive use of force.

The X-Police inadvertently kill the man and frame his girlfriend for the crime.

"Circular Bed Research"
Hefner helps a college student (Curtin) who is writing a thesis about "male performance territory and their geometric variant." 

Their "research" is interrupted by an expected visit by Pres. Jimmy Carter (Aykroyd).

"Listening To Great Music"
John Belushi hosts a TV program dedicated to musical appreciation. He's driven insane by a recording of Wagner's "Ride Of The Valkyries." 

John gets so swept up in the music that he trashes the furniture and the entire set!

"Weekend Update"
Anchors Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd report on the news of the day.

Their top story: "Professor John Van Vleck, of Harvard University, won the Nobel Prize for Physics this week. He is shown here with his invention: a party doll for older men." 

Plus, Olympic Gold Medal-winning Gymnast Nadia Comaneci has embarked on a 60-city tour of the United States. Comaneci tells viewers "I have to make all the money I can, because I won’t be cute forever!"

"Sex In Cinema"
Hefner hosts a show that examines sex in movies. He tells viewers "there was a time when American entertainment was censored by puritanical morality." 

Hefner states that Hollywood's old production code "stated that if a man and a woman appeared on a bed together, at least one of their four feet must remain on the floor." He shows the final scene from The First Mrs. Kimble, a screwball comedy starring Cary Grant (Murray) and Katherine Hepburn (Newman).  

It features a romantic scene where one of Grant's feet remains on the floor the whole time.

Talk show:"3 Rs"
This chat show examines aspects of the educational system. Guest Michael Mykonos has filed a lawsuit against the board of education. Mykonos claims his daughter Colleen has graduated from high school, but cannot go to college because tests show she is illiterate. For proof of Colleen's illiteracy, Michael shows off a book that she wrote titled My Experiences As An Illiterate.

Film:"The Story of H"
This documentary short chronicles Hefner's life and rise to prominence. 

Hef narrates the piece and says he was "duped" into giving "hippies" and "libertines" a forum in his magazine, which led to his multi-million dollar empire. Hefner hopes that "The Story Of H" will save viewers from suffering the way he's suffered. This short film is filled with montages and jumpcuts that display photos of Hefner throughout his life.

 "The Playboy Philosophy"
In Athens, circa 400 B.C., a philosopher named Hef (Hefner) introduces Socrates (Belushi) and Plato (Morris) to the Playboy Philosophy.

"Magical Funeral"
When Hartley Raymond (Murray) is called upon to eulogize his friend Jonathan Gilsrack, he turns the funeral service into a full-fledged magic show, pulling flowers out of his sleeve, performing card tricks... 

...and sawing the coffin in half.

At the end of the funeral, Hartley leads the mourners in a performance of "Put On A Happy Face." This song was written by Lee Adams and Charles Strouse for their musical Bye Bye Birdie.

Andy Kaufman:"Oklahoma,"That's The Way It Goes," "I Need Your Love Tonight."
Guest comedian Andy Kaufman sings the title song from the musical Oklahoma!, which was written by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein.

Kaufman then sits down at a piano and performs his original song "That's The Way It Goes." The song deals with noises made by cows, dogs, cats, birds, pigs and lions. Kaufman gets the audience to sing, moo, meow and tweet along with him.

Lastly, Kaufman dons a jacket similar to the one worn by Elvis Presley in his later years so he can imitate "The King." He closes his set by performing "I Need Your Love Tonight," which was written by Sid Wayne and Bix Reichner. Presley's recording of the song was issued on June 10, 1958 and it peaked at #4 on Billboard's Hot 100. 

"The Farbers go to the Playboy Club"
Larry Farber (Belushi) and his wife Bobbi (Radner) visit the Playboy club where they meet Hugh Hefner.

Goodnights:
Hefner, flanked by the cast and Libby Titus, says "Thank you all for making this such a wonderful adventure. Thank you! Good night!" 

Notes about this episode:
The cold opening is a parody of "Playboy's Party Jokes," a long-running feature in Hefner's magazine. "Party Jokes" featured Leroy Neman sketches of a woman called a Femlin, Newman plays a Femlin in the sketch. 

What stands out:
Andy Kaufman-His performance brought a lot of energy to an episode that dragged at times.

"Planet Of Men vs. Planet Of Women"-This sketch is filled with ridiculous, over-the-top double entendres and the costumes are great too. 

"Magical Funeral"-Bill Murray is great as the magician. The closing song and the presence of Paul Shaffer on organ makes this feel a bit like a "Nick the lounge singer" sketch.

What doesn't work:
Hugh Hefner-He's worst SNL host so far. Hefner plays "himself" in almost every sketch and he's boring. To make matters worse, the bulk of the episode is built around Hefner playing himself. In his monologue, Hefner says his friends think he's "almost as funny as Ralph Nader." When Nader hosted, he was surprisingly funny and entertaining (Julian Bond was another "non-entertainer" who turned out to be good in sketches). Hefner is neither funny nor entertaining. 

J.A. Morris' rating:
This episode features too many sketches that feature Hugh Hefner playing "himself." This gets old fast since Hefner's presence drags down every sketch that's built around him. One of the weakest episodes so far.

2 stars.

Season 3, Episode 2;Host:Madeline Kahn, with Taj Mahal and Barry Humphries.

Cold opening:ABC Miniseries:"Trial of Lee Harry Oswald"
A disclaimer appears onscreen that states:
"The following ABC mini-series is based upon historical fact. However some of the names and events have been changed to make the program more entertaining."

The miniseries opens in a Houston jail, where Lee Harry Oswald (Bill Murray) is about to be transported to the county jail for shooting President John F. Curry. A reporter (Dan Aykroyd) provides blow-by-blow coverage of this event. The reporter says local authorities have an airtight case against Oswald.

As Oswald is led towards the reporter, he gets pied in the face!

Oswald, with a pie encrusted visage, looks into the camera and says "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Monologue:"We don't know what's going to happen!"
Host Madeline Kahn opens by saying they had to start the show late due to a baseball game. She says the atmosphere of the show is "charged with excitement" because she and the cast are "dealing with the unknown." Kahn adds that every moment in life is unknown and that "there is only one thing that we can know for sure, that is that we are ALL going to die."

Commercial:"Swill Mineral Water"
Written by Alan Zweibel.
A travelling salesman (Murray) says that when it comes to mineral water, he likes to "keep it simple, keep it domestic. I drink Swill. The water that's dredged from Lake Erie."

As he pours the mineral water into a glass, we are treated to a closeup of all the garbage that's found in every bottle of Swill. 

The slow pouring of Swill is accompanied by the song "Anticipation," which was written and performed by Carly Simon. "Anticipation" was the title track for Simon's November 1971 album. It was released as a single and peaked at #13 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart.

"Bad Opera"
Written by Tom Schiller.
Host Leonard Pinth-Garnell (Aykroyd) presents a performance of the German opera Die Goldenklang or The Golden Note, the worst German opera of its time. It's lead character Mazda (Kahn) is chosen by the gods to sing "the golden note." 

This note must be sustained by its singer for so long that it causes "larynx lock." That means the singer's larynx locks on to the note forever!

"Anyone Can Host Contest"
SNL producer Lorne Michaels announces that the show will be holding its first ever Anyone Can Host contest. Any viewer can send in an entry via postcard that states, in 25 words or less, why they should host Saturday Night. The top five finalists will be flown to New York in November to read their postcards on the show.

The winner will host the December 17 Christmas episode and will be treated like any host. They will stay in the "swank" Essex House hotel and be paid $3000. 

Talk show:"Bianca Jagger and Three or Four of Her Close Personal Friends"

Bianca Jagger (Kahn) hosts an after-dinner conversation between her and three of her closest friends, Princess Grace of Monaco (Jane Curtin)...

...Canada's First Lady Margaret Trudeau (Laraine Newman)...

 

...and author Truman Capote (John Belushi).

Bianca and her panel discuss how her life has changed since she began working. The conversation takes a turn for the worse when Princess Grace asks Bianca "How's Mick?," and Trudeau asks why Bianca's husband Mick hasn't joined them.

Taj Mahal:"Queen Bee"
Taj Mahal performs "Queen Bee," which appeared on his 1977 album Evolution (The Most Recent).

Schiller's Reel:"The Acid Generation:Where Are They Now?"
Filmmaker Tom Schiller interviews survivors of the 1960s counterculture, who appear to be a lot older than one might expect.

"Weekend Update"
Co-anchors Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd cover the news of the day, which includes:

Barbara Walters has discovered that PLO Chair Yasser Arafat and former Beatle Ringo Starr are one and the same. 

Entertainment reporter Bill Murray offers advice to Marie Osmond, telling her that she shouldn't try to change her wholesome image.

And NBC's new "Dancing N" brings a news bulletin to Aykroyd and Curtin.

"Silver Balls and Golden Pins"

Written by Michael O'Donoghue and Howard Shore.[1]
A minister (Murray) tells the story about someone he knew in the army who never went to church, but went bowling instead every Sunday.

The sketch cuts back and forth from his sermon to a hymn that is performed by a living bowling trophy statuette (Kahn).

The words of the hymn tell us:

“Life is like… a bowling alley

There’s a fast lane and a slow.

And a score sheet up in Heaven

Which record the deep below.”

"Reverse Discrimination"
A white man named Craig Baker (Belushi) is threatening to sue the Santa Barbara School of Law for reverse discrimination because he was rejected from the school, which in turn accepted Ross Jamal's (Garrett Morris) application. 

Jamal is Black and blind, supported his 14 siblings while working through college and was admitted under their Special Admissions program. Baker had slightly better undergraduate grades because Jamal received a D in Art Appreciation. The law school dean decides that the only way to select a candidate is to ask Jamal how many fingers he's holding up.

Film by Gary Weis-"Autumn In New York"
SNL filmmaker Gary Weis turns his camera on Kahn while she walks around New York City singing "Autumn In New York." 

The song was written by Vernon Duke for the 1934 Broadway musical Thumbs Up!. 

The film ends with a closeup on Kahn singing...

...which then pans out to reveal she's singing under the Times Square digital billboard, while the lyrics are displayed.

Commercial:"The Pink Box"

After a game of tennis, Vickie (Newman) compliments the play of her friend Sally (Radner), who credits her play to a "wonderful new women's product" that makes her feel "so confident and secure." 

However, Sally has no idea what the pink box does or if it even has a name.

"Italian movie dubbing"
A voice actor named Ross (Aykroyd) dubs English dialogue over an Italian film...

...that features a duel between Hercules (Belushi) and Romulus (Morris).

"Interview with Dame Edna"

Kahn interviews a woman named Dame Edna Everage, who Kahn describes as "one of the greatest actresses of the English speaking world." Dame Edna discusses topics such as her husband's prostate issues and her stage show, which she describes as a cross between "FDR's fireside chats and The Lucy Show."

Commercial:"Pocket Pal"

A pitchman (Aykroyd) asks "when you fly, are you concerned by the volume of air traffic, possible oversights by air traffic controllers, the number of human errors committed by pilots, and the occasional likelihood of mid-air collisions?" 

If you are, you can now purchase a Pocket Pal by Rovco, "which ACTUALLY predicts mid-air collisions as much as TEN SECONDS before impact!"

"Judith and Gail"
Written by Marilyn Suzanne Miller.[2]
Two friends named Gail (Radner) and Kahn (Judith) get drunk on vodka and Tab, while Gail worries that a man she recently met will not call her. 

While waiting for the call, they reveal secrets to each other and wonder why relationships in real life aren't as romantic as they're portrayed in movies and TV.

Goodnights:
Kahn, surrounded by the cast and guests says "Good night, thank you for watching! Thank you, Barry Humphries. Thank you, Taj Mahal," then the credits roll.

Notes about this episode:

During her monologue, Kahn mentions that the show is starting late due to a rain-delayed baseball playoff game.

The New York Times TV listings for this episode say it was supposed to start at 11:50. [3]

I've read several places that the game was delayed for 19 minutes. I couldn't find out exactly when the game ended or what time SNL went on the air, but I imagine the host, cast and crew were sitting around the studio on-call for a while. This sort of thing might impact performances (more on that below). 

When this episode aired, Barry Humphries was portraying Dame Edna in a solo Off-Broadway show titled Housewife! Superstar! It was not successful and closed after four weeks. 

This episode features a different opening montage than the previous episode. This opening was filmed at dusk and opens with Saturday Night Live displayed on Times Square's digital billboard...

...followed by the name of the host and musical guest. 

The billboard then displays a hand playing with a yo-yo.

The yo-yo then turns into a rat, perhaps a reference to the rat infestation that hit New York in the 1970s.

When Don Pardo introduces the Not Ready For Primetime Players, each of them poses for the camera while their name and digital likeness are displayed behind them on the billboard.

The "Lee Harry Oswald" sketch in the cold opening is a reference to The Trial Of Lee Harvey Oswald, a made-for-TV movie that premiered on ABC in September of 1977. It was a fictional account of what might have happened if Oswald had lived long enough to stand trial for the assassination of Pres. Kennedy.

In the "Bianca Jagger" sketch, Princess Grace asks Bianca "How's Mick?" This generates laughter from the audience because at the time, Bianca and her husband Mick Jagger were estranged. Bianca filed for divorce in May of 1978.

Near the end of "Weekend Update," Jane Curtin reads a news bulletin about Burma that goes like this:

"On the road to Mandalay,

Where the flyin'-fishes play,

An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!"

Dan Aykroyd says "That's Rod McKuen, isn't it? The joke here is that it's actually Rudyard Kipling, Curtin's "report" is taken from his poem Mandalay, which was written and published in 1890.

The "Reverse Discrimination" sketch is based on the Regents of the University of California v. Bakke court case, which was being heard by the United States Supreme Court when this episode aired. In 1978, the court ruled that a university’s admissions criteria which used race as a definite and exclusive basis for an admission decision violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment and Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

The film by Gary Weis is the second of his films to feature the song "Autumn In New York." Another Weis film built around the song appeared in Episode 5 of Season 2.

What stands out:
"Judith and Gail"-Kahn and Radner are brilliant in this slice-of-life sketch. They have great chemistry and their dialogue feels very realistic. It feels like we're eavesdropping on two good friends talking about their relationship troubles.

"Autumn In New York"-There's something great about Madeline Kahn just walking around New York City singing a song about New York. It's like a Broadway musical came to life in the real world. 

"Italian movie dubbing"-On the whole, this isn't a great sketch. But I have to admire the clever way John Belushi, Garrett Morris and Gilda Radner moved backwards when the Italian film is "rewound."

What doesn't work:
The late starting time-There's something about this episode that makes everything feel a bit off kilter. I blame the delayed starting time. Sitting around waiting for a game to end so a live show can begin must be nerve-racking. Even the normally unflappable Dan Aykroyd gets a bit confused during "Weekend Update" and misses his cue. In the middle of the sketch, he even adlibs "I'm going home" at one point. During update, Aykroyd also loses his lapel mic and gets thrown off a bit more. That wasn't his fault, but it slows down a sketch that was already clunky. 

Dame Edna-Kahn's interview with Dame Edna goes on for too long and sucks what energy is left out of the show. The audience also doesn't seem to know what to make of Dame Edna.

J.A. Morris' rating:
This isn't a bad episode, but it is disappointing. Madeline Kahn is one of my favorite comic actors and her Season 1 episode was excellent. However, the late start seemed to throw everyone off, which makes it less-than-essential viewing. The Dame Edna interview is another strike against it. 

2 and a half stars.

Sources:
[1]Mr. Mike:The Life and Work of Michael O'Donoghue (Amazon Kindle version), p.458.

[2]Madison, William V. Madeline Kahn: Being the Music, A Life, p.148

[3]"Television This Week," New York Times, October 2, 1977.