Season 3, episode 9;Host:Steve Martin, with the Dirt Band and Randy Newman

 Aired January 21, 1978.

Network announcement:
Don Pardo tells viewers “Bruce Jenner Wins The Javelin Catch” will not be seen tonight, so that NBC may present the following special program."

Cold opening:"1978 State of the Union Address"
Pres. Jimmy Carter (Dan Aykroyd) arrives at the Capitol to deliver the annual State of the Union address. 

The Senators and Representatives in attendance seem to be bored by his speech. The same goes for Vice President Walter Mondale (Bill Murray) and House Speaker Thomas "Tip" O'Neil (John Belushi), who play "Paper, Scissors, Rock" behind Carter. 

During the speech, captions appear onscreen that comment on the appearances of various politicians.

At the end of his speech, Carter says, "thank you very much, I have nothing else to say but live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Monologue:"Belushi stole my money, two simple words"

Host Steve Martin notices that $50 of his money is missing. He always puts his money in the same pocket, but it's not there. He remembers John Belushi being alone with the money and accuses him of stealing it. Steve then checks the other pocket...

...and finds the $50.

Steve then spills some water on his microphone and touches it and accidently electrocutes himself.

Martin then explains to viewers how they can be millionaires without paying taxes by telling the judge "two simple words."

Commercial:"Swill Mineral Water"
Repeat from Season 3, episode 2.

"Bigfoot evacuation"

Park Ranger McConnell (Martin) visits a remote cabin where a couple (Belushi, Gilda Radner) lives. He informs them he is evacuating the area due to a recent Bigfoot sighting. The ranger wants to find, tranquilize and capture Bigfoot, but he can never get close to the creature.

"Bigfoot" may be much closer to McConnell than he realizes.

"The Festrunk's computer dates"

Georg Festrunk (Martin) and his brother Yortuk (Aykroyd) have been matched with two "swinging American foxes" by a computer dating service. They are disappointed when their dates arrive. 

Much to the Festrunks' chagrin, their computer dates are not Americans, but instead are Croatian sisters named Bodka (Jane Curtin) and Vobsina Cherbu (Laraine Newman). They escaped from a Soviet fishing boat and swam to America for freedom.

The sisters decide they're more interested in the Festrunk's friend Cliff (Garrett Morris).

The Dirt Band:"On The Loose"
The Dirt Band performs "On The Loose," which was written by Dirt Band member Jeff Hanna. This song appeared on the Dirt Band's self-titled 1978 album.

Commercial:"Body floss"
A pitchman (Martin) promotes the newest evolution in cleaning:body floss. 

The commercial then cuts to a "floss party" where body-flossing techniques are demonstrated.

"Weekend Update"
Anchors Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd report on the top stories of the day:

The King of Saudi Arabia and the Emir of Kuwait, last week, had their beards epoxied together. 

Buick recalled 12,000 cars that were mistakenly equipped with bedspreads, which were too long for the engine.

Consumer reporter Roseanne Roseannadanna answers a letter from "Richard Fader of New York City," who writes in to ask: "I’ve got no heat. What should I do?” Roseanne tells of a time she had no heat, so she went to a restaurant get some soup, which had a hair in it. 

Her commentary descends into a series of disgusting stories about food and she asks the question:"if they can make a coffee you like, without caffeine, why can’t they make a hamburger you like with no toenail?!” Jane interrupts the commentary says it's making her "nauseous." 

Randy Newman:"Short People" and "Rider In The Rain"
Randy Newman performs "Short People," which appeared on Newman's 1977 album Little Criminals. "Short People" was issued as a single in November of '77 and peaked at #2 on Billboard's Hot 100. 

Members of the Dirt Band provide backup vocals.

Newman follows that up by singing "Rider In The Rain," another song from Little Criminals.

Game show:"Family Feud"
Richard Dawson (Murray) hosts Family Feud, which pits the Joe Mel Family...

...against the Beldar Conehead Family!

The  Coneheads do better than expected until Beldar reaches the "Fast Money" portion of the game.

Talk show:"What if?"
Written by Jim Downey.
Joan Cage (Curtin) hosts a talk show where she asks a historian (Morris) and an Air Force Colonel (Murray) the question:"What if Napoleon had a B-52 bomber at the Battle of Waterloo?"

We then see the portrayal of the hypothetical scenario, where Napolean himself (Belushi) presses the button that bombs his opponents.

Film by Gary Weis:"Hollywood Homes"
SNL filmmaker Gary Weis follows Martin around Hollywood while he knocks on doors of Hollywood stars hoping they'll let him in. 

The Dirt Band with Steve Martin:"White Russia"
This instrumental was composed by the Dirt Band's John McEuen and his brother William. It also appeared on their self-titled album. Steve accompanies the Dirt Band on banjo. In his introduction, Martin says "White Russia" was written while the Dirt Band was touring Russia.

Goodnights:
Martin says "that's our comedy gags, good night!" and he thanks the cast and musical guests. 

Notes about this episode:
On a personal note, this was one of the episodes that was officially released on VHS in the 1980s. The tape contained everything from the episode except the musical guests. Since I had copy back then, I've seen this many times over the years and for a long time, I've considered it my favorite episode.

On "Weekend Update," Roseanne Roseannadanna reponds to a letter from "Richard Fader in New York City." In her subsequent commentaries, Richard Fader's letters would identify him as a resident of Fort Lee, New Jersey. In real life, Fader was the brother-in-law of SNL writer Alan Zweibel, who co-wrote this piece with Radner. 

Classic moment:
Roseanne Roseannadanna's first commentary-Roseanne's first appearance on "Weekend Update" is hilarious and "it's always something" would become a national catchphrase. She would deliver fourteen more commentaries over the next two seasons and become one of SNL's most popular characters. 

What stands out:
Pretty much everything. In addition to Roseannadanna's debut, this episode has Aykroyd's Jimmy Carter impression, the Festrunk Brothers wild-and-crazy second appearance (which is stronger than their first sketch), a great Coneheads sketch, an enjoyable Gary Weis film and Steve Martin's brilliant monologue. The debut of "What If," which would become a recurring sketch, is also solid. This episode almost feels like a classic clip show.

What doesn't work:
Too much music-The Dirt Band gets one song and then closes the show with Steve Martin joining them to perform the "White Russia" instrumental. That's fine. There was no need to also have Randy Newman perform two songs. On a positive musical note, I appreciated that the Dirt Band collaborated with both Newman and Martin, which made the musical performances feel more unified and connected to the show. Still, Newman's two songs were at least one too many. 

J.A. Morris' rating:
This is a great episode and it's still my all-time favorite, in spite of it containing too many musical performances.

4 stars!

Season 3, Episode 4;Host:Charles Grodin, with Paul Simon & The Persuasions

Aired October 29, 1977.

Cold opening:"The host is missing!"
In SNL's locker room, Gilda Radner and John Belushi are worried. The show is about to start, and host Charles Grodin is missing!  They talk about how he's a bit eccentric and doesn't relate to the cast. When Grodin finally shows up, he says he's late because he was buying gifts for the cast, which caused him to miss dress rehearsal.

He's due to perform the opening monologue in 1 minute and hasn't written it yet. But Grodin says he's excited about hosting and he's written a special song for the show that expresses how he feels about life. Grodin says he didn't have time to write a monologue because he's been busy visiting various New York tourist attractions. Charles is shocked when he's told Saturday Night is a live show with a live audience.

John Belushi tells him yes, "you know, like…live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!" and the opening montage rolls.

Monologue:
Grodin says he's never watched SNL, but he hears "it's a wonderful, wonderful show." He says he wished he'd have time to rehearse with the cast, but he's been too busy sight-seeing and checking out Broadway shows. Charles says Saturday Night looks like a "really cute show!"

"Return of the Coneheads"
Written by Dan Aykroyd and Tom Davis.
While the Conehead family are celebrating Halloween, Prymaat (Jane Curtin) gets a knock on the door from trick or treaters. She gives them fried eggs (or "fried chicken embryos" as the Coneheads call them) and a 6-pack of beer. 

This draws criticism from neighborhood "block parents" Carl (Bill Murray) and Sharlene van Arsdale (Radner). 

Plus, daughter Connie (Laraine Newman) is dressed as a witch and plans to attend a Halloween party later that night. Connie attempts to explain apple bobbing to her parents.

"Charles' film clip"

The host introduces a clip from his latest film Too Late, Too Late, My Love, My Love. Grodin talks about his co-stars and the film's director.  Unfortunately, Charles takes so long introducing the the clip that the show cuts away before Grodin shows up in the clip. 

Lorne Michaels then chimes in over the PA system and tells Grodin that the show needs to move on to the next segment. Charles then introduces the musical guest.

Paul Simon and the Persuassions:"Slip Slidin' Away"
Paul Simon performs "Slip Slidin' Away," which was released as a single in October 1977 and peaked at #18 on the Billboard Hot 100. The song was included on Simon's album Greatest Hits, Etc., which was issued in November of '77. 

The Persuassions provide back-up vocals on the "Slip Slidin' Away." They later recorded an a cappella version of this song, which appeared on their 1985 album No Frills.

Talk show:"Consumer Probe"

Host Joan Face (Curtin) confronts sleazy businessman Irwin Mainway (Aykroyd) about his company's dangerous Halloween costumes. 

Mainway's costumes include a "Johnny Space Commander" mask, which is "nothing more than a plastic bag and a rubber band."

And "Johnny Human Torch," which consists of "a bag of oily rags and a lighter." 

"Anyone Can Host contest"

Bill Murray and Mr. Mike (Michael O'Donoghue) promote SNL's "Anyone Can Host" contest. Murray explains the rules of the contest while Mr. Mike rejects contestants' for petty reasons, such as "typing errors" and "uneven margins" on their postcards. 

"Samurai Dry Cleaners"

Written by Alan Zweibel and John Belushi.

A couple (Grodin and Radner) pick up their shirts at a dry cleaners operated by a samurai (Belushi). 

Grodin breaks character and talks about how great Belushi is as the samurai. Gilda tries to keep the host on task, to no avail. Charles then starts reading John's lines off the cue cards, which infuriates Belushi and Radner. 

"Weekend Update"

Anchors Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin report on top stories of the day, which include:
Cher is suing her plastic surgeon.

The Food and Drug Administration will change its name to the Food and Dope Administration in an attempt to keep up with the users of the Administration's services.

Update presents an exclusive report on the disappearance of Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa. FBI Agent Lt. Willard Jackson (Garrett Morris) visits the Update desk and brings pieces of Hoffa's (alleged) skeleton.  

Bill Murray presents a commentary on one-man shows that are appearing on stages all over New York. Murray is not a fan of monodrama. 

And Aykroyd presents a new Update feature, News for the Silent Film Buff.

Charles Grodin and Paul Simon:"Sounds Of Silence" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

The host teams up with the musical guest for a duet on "Sounds Of Silence." The song was written by  Simon and first appeared on Simon & Garfunkel's debut album Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M. "Sounds Of Silence" became a hit single when it was reissued with added electric instrumentation and reached #1 on the Billboard chart in January 1966.

Their performance keeps starting and stopping because Grodin doesn't know the words. Simon is also distracted by the host's "Art Garfunkel wig." Simon eventually gets fed up and walks off.

Grodin then decides to perform "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by himself. This song was the title track of Simon & Garfunkel's final studio album and it reached #1 on the Hot 100 in February 1970. 

After Grodin warbles the first verse, the real Art Garfunkel walks onstage to confront Charles. He tells Grodin to hand over the wig.

"The Killer Bees Go Trick Or Treating"

The Killer Bees trick or treat at a suburban house.  But it's not candy they're after, they want pollen!  The man of the house (Grodin) tells them they have no pollen. 

Grodin breaks character and talks about the wonderful bee costumes.  But he quickly changes his tune, saying the antennae props are distracting.  Radner, playing his wife, tries to get him to read the cue cards, to no avail.  Belushi and the others try to stay in character.  

Grodin gets confused and asks "am I supposed to believe that you're real bees?" Belushi reminds him that if he hadn't missed the dress rehearsal, he would understand the sketch. Grodin refuses to stay in character, causing Belushi and the other "bees" to walk off stage. 

Since the sketch runs long, Lorne tells Grodin that his song will have to be cut from the show, which upsets Charles.

"The Judy Miller Show"

Written by Marilyn Suzanne Miller.
A young girl named Judy Miller sings and dances around her room and creates her own fantasy TV show.

Judy smashes into her door, which eventually gets the attention of her mother, who wants to know what's going on.

Commercial:"Professional School of Football"

A pitchman (Morris) promotes a school where students are taught how to play football.

"Crowd shot"

As the previous sketch ends, the camera pans away from the stage and reveals that Grodin has taken a seat in the studio audience.

Paul Simon:"You're Kind"

Simon performs "You're Kind." This song appeared on Simon's album Still Crazy After All These Years, which was released on October 17, 1975.

Virtuoso harmonica player Toots Thielemans backs up Simon and takes a solo on "Your Kind."

PSA:"Hire The Incompetent"

Written by Rosie Shuster.
Grodin presents a public service message that advocates on behalf of "incompetent" workers who have been fired from various jobs.

It features testimony from a grocery bagger who put eggs on the bottom of the bag under heavy items...

 ...an air traffic controller who caused a plane crash.

...and a woman fired from Burgerland for making burgers with hair in them.

 During the sketch, Grodin once again breaks character and asks Lorne Michaels if there's enough time to perform his original song.  Lorne says yes and Charles sings this song. 

It goes like this:

“Help a person,
Be a friend,
Hang on till the very end,
A car, TV, some cake, a wife,
These are my feelings about life.”

Michaels tells the host "that was wonderful, Chuck. Thank you," and the sketch ends.

Goodnights:

Grodin says "Thank you, everybody, uh, you’ve been a wonderful audience." Charles puts his arm around Belushi and says "as you see, this is just kidding. Right, John?" Belushi says "yeah, Mr. Spaceman, right."

Grodin thanks, Simon, the Persuassions, Garfunkel. He closes the show by saying "you’ve been a wonderful audience, it’s been a terrific night for us!"

Notes about this episode:

First off, I want to address a rumor that has persisted since this episode aired. Charles Grodin was not "banned" from Saturday Night after this episode. He just never hosted again. 

This episode was released on VHS in the 1980s and my family owned a copy while I was growing up. So I bring a lot of nostalgia to this review. 

For the third time this season, the opening montage features new footage of the Not Ready For Prime Time Players. Each member of the cast is seen in Times Square posed in front of the digital billboard, which displays their names:

If you're not familiar with The Persuassions, they were an A Cappella vocal group that formed in Brooklyn in 1962. The Persuassions recorded more than two dozen albums and collaborated with artists like Les McCann, Joni Mitchell, Stevie Wonder, Phoebe Snow, Leon Redbone and the Neville Brothers. 

Classic moments:

In "Hire The Incompetent," Gilda Radner plays an unnamed character that would eventually become Roseanne Roseannadanna. "Roseanne" would go on to be one of SNL's most popular characters.

"Return of the Coneheads"-This is one of the best Coneheads sketches and it's been featured on a bunch of SNL Halloween compilations. 

"Consumer Probe"-This Irwin Mainway sketch is one of Aykroyd's all-time best moments and it's still hilarious 47 years later. 

"The Judy Miller Show"-This features Gilda Radner delivering a clinic on physical comedy while also displaying her child-like qualities. 

It's worth noting the the Coneheads, "Judy Miller" and "Consumer Probe" have appeared on multiple "best-of" compilation specials.

What stands out:
Pretty much everything. Charles Grodin is a great host and I generally like it when Saturday Night departs from its usual format. Grodin is very believable when pretending he doesn't know what's going on. 

Bonus:
Here are bumper photos from this episode, created by Saturday Night photographer Edie Baskin. These photos are not available on the officially released DVDs, I got them from the 1980s VHS release. 

J.A. Morris' rating:
I can't say much else about this episode other than to say it's one of the all-time best episodes of SNL  and it's something I watch every year around Halloween. It's got classic sketches, recurring characters and a unique, unforgettable host. Grodin's episode gets my highest rating.

4 stars!