Aired January 29, 1977.
Cold opening:"Locker Room"
Coach John Belushi's Saturday Night football team is preparing to take the stage for another episode. Belushi is explaining to this week's host, Minnesota Vikings quarterback Fran Tarkenton, how he should act when he's onstage.
Belushi says if Tarkenton isn't prepared to host, he'll make a fool out of himself.
The coach gathers everyone together for a team prayer. He asks for God to "help guide Fran Tarkenton, so he will not humiliate himself...like he did in the Super Bowl."
The team then runs on to the field, looks into the camera and shouts "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"
Monologue-"Tarkenton calls an audible"
Since Tarkenton is a football player, SNL's homebase stage has been decorated to look like the 50th yard line of a gridiron.
Fran mentions that unlike most quarterbacks, he calls his own plays, so he calls an audible and sings the song "Feelings."
Backstage, Coach Belushi sees that Tarkenton is a terrible singer and substitutes in Garrett Morris (a classically trained voccalist) to finish the song, much to Fran's consternation.
Commercial:"Rovco's Swiss Army Gun"
A pitchman (Dan Aykroyd) sings the praises of the Swiss Army Gun, a multi-tool that includes multiple guns, knives, and a grenade launcher.
"Amy Carter goes to school"
First Daughter Amy Carter (Laraine Newman) is accompanied to school by two Secret Service agents (Bill Murray and Aykroyd). They supply Amy with answers to a history quiz and take down a student who gets in a fight with Amy.
"Coach Belushi on the sidelines"
When a player named Chambers (Aykroyd) fumbles the ball, Coach Belushi berates him. Chambers reveals that he fumbled because the opposing player pulled his arm off.
Leo Sayer:"When I Need You"
Leo Sayer performs "When I Need You," which was written by Albert Hammond and Carole Bayer Sager. Sayer's recording of the song appeared on his November 1976 album Endless Flight. During May of '77, it reached #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 and its Adult Contemporary charts.
Talk show:"Black Perspective"
Garrett Morris interviews Tarkenton and puts the QB on the spot when he asks why there aren't more black quarterbacks in the National Football League.
"Maison Alsace Americaine"
Written by Dan Aykroyd and Lorne Michaels.
A couple (Murray and Jane Curtin) go to dinner at an Alsatian restaurant operated by a husband (Aykroyd) and wife (Gilda Radner).
While preparing the food, the owners engage in loud, violent arguments and their daughter Francine (Newman) plays the recorder. It seems that the restaurant (and their marriage) is just as volatile and embattled as the Alsace region has been throughout history.
Commercial:"Sugar-Frosted Anabolic Steroids"
Tarkenton promotes a cereal made out of anabolic steroids.
"Weekend Update":
Jane Curtin opens her broadcast by saying she's received lots of letters from viewers who tell her Update was better when it was anchored by "that sexy Chevy Chase."
She says if it's sex they want, she'll give it too them. Curtin then tears open her blouse and shouts "try these on for size, Connie Chung!"
PSA:"Community appeal"
Tarkenton thanks people who donated money to a program that saved John Belushi after his mind was destroyed by drugs.
"Fran and Alice"
Following his Super Bowl loss, Tarkenton meets a woman in a bar named Alice and invites her to his hotel room. Unfortunately, Alice won't stop talking about herself.
Talk show:"Grand Stand"
Hosts Bryant Gumbo (Morris) and Lee Whitehead (Murray) interview Tarkenton, and analyze how Fran has performed as host so far.
Leo Sayer:"You Make Me Feel Like Dancing"
Sayer performs "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing," which he co-wrote with Vini Poncia. The song reached #1 on the Hot 100 and #19 on the Adult Contemporary chart.
Film by Gary Weis:"Small Worlds"
Weis takes his camera to Small Worlds Pet Shop, where the shop's owners build enclosures that closely resemble the animals' natural habitats.
When Small World's owners show off their corn snake, John Lee Hooker's recording of the song "Crawling King Snake" plays on the soundtrack.
The author of "Crawling King Snake" is unknown, but the song is thought to have originated in the 1920s and was first recorded by Big Joe Williams in 1941.
Commercial:"Spearmint Gum"
Spearmint Gum is the gum you can carry with you after you die.
French Liquid is the perfume that smells different on every woman who wears it. On one woman, it smells like wildflowers, on another, it smells like Cicely Tyson's toothbrush.
Donny Harper leads his group in a performance of "Sing," a song that was written by Joe Raposo and introduced on Sesame Street in 1971.
"Credit Counseling"
Written by Marilyn Suzanne Miller.
A credit counselor named Barbara (Curtin) explains to Rhonda Weiss (Radner) why her credit card was suspended. During their conversation, Rhonda and Barbara repeatedly try to one-up each other about various aspects of their lives.
Goodnights:
Murray and Morris hoist Tarkenton up on their shoulders, they're joined by the rest of the cast and the credits roll.
Notes about this episode:
Fran Tarkenton was the first athlete to host Saturday Night, "paving the way" for future hosts from the world of sports like O.J. Simpson, Michael Jordan and Derrick Jeter.
Speaking of sports, I noticed ABC/ESPN sportscaster Dick Schaap was in the studio audience in this episode. That's Schaap in the front row, far left in the screencap below:
Classic moment:
Jane Curtin on "Weekend Update"-Curtin is great here and her blouse-ripping scene has appeared in multiple clip shows over the years.
The "Coach Belushi" runner-I like it when the show departs from its usual format and this gave a still-injured Belushi a way to participate in the episode.
Donny Harper and the Voices Of Tomorrow-Their gospel-tinged version of the oft-covered "Sing" was an interesting take on the song.
"Rovco's Swiss Army Gun"-Aykroyd's is great playing another fast-talking pitchman and SNL's prop department did a great job constructing a giant Swiss Army Knife.
"Grand Stand"-This talk show sketch contains this exchange between the host and Garrett Morris:
Bryant Gumbo (Morris): "When Don Meredith announced during the Super Bowl that you were going to host Saturday Night, he said you were going a long way with no talent. What do you think about that?"
Tarkenton: "I’m not a vicious kind of guy, but, you know, there are three quarterbacks in the NFL who are gay, and when Don was playing, there were four!"
This goes over like a lead balloon and the studio audience groans.
Leo Sayer-I've never been a fan of Sayer's music and his performances are the least-enjoyable part of this episode.
J.A. Morris' rating:
For someone who is neither an actor or comedian, Fran Tarkenton does a good job as host. This episode wasn't quite as good as the three that proceeded it, but it features several great sketches and is another solid episode.
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